i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize