i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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