do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
