you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
