i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
