there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
