nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
