I love black thongs
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
