I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
