Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
