please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
