She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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