God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He felt like a one man threesome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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