We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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