why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
