she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
