Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
