I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
