I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just invented taco cereal.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
