They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
