Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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