He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A bitchslap is in order.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
