it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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