Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
