some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
