Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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