its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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