So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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