Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
