Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
