it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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