he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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