i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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