Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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