You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
