clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
