when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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