hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
