i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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