Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I look better un-naked...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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