I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
