thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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