i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
