ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
