Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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