his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
