he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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