Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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