All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
