The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
