im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
