We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
