I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
