no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He felt like a one man threesome
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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