i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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